update

Went to the orthopedic doc today.....was sent to meet with the surgeon. I have an MRI scheduled for Tuesday and a follow up consultation with the surgeon on Feb. 10. Looks like we will be doing surgery for sure. Just a matter of whether it will consist of an invasive or a non-invasive procedure. Either way, there will be several weeks of restricted use in my right arm along with MONTHS of PT. Not looking forward to that, but praying this will take care of the pain in that arm once and for all.

As it is right now I can not play the piano at all, I'm having difficulty signing, it hurts to even write or type on the computer.............argh! It is also causing problems in my neck and shoulder but hopefully that will clear up after we get the elbow "fixed".

The non-invasive procedure is the preferred option but we won't know until after the MRI (depending on the severity of damage) if I can go that route. If so, it involves drawing some of my blood, seperating out the platelets of the red blood cells and after some process they do with that, re-injecting the platelets back into the elbow. The reason is that this part of the blood helps with healing and re-growth (or something like that). But once it is injected I have to rest that arm for about 6 weeks to allow the healing to occur or I could do severe permanent damage. After the healing time I start PT.

The doctor said this is out-patient surgery but that it is very painful and that I will hate him for at least 6 weeks. But if I go this route, I should at least be able to go back to work quickly (which means I can get internship hours). I WON"T be able to sign during the healing period. I'm not sure about how much I'll be able to do on the computer. That is SCARY (because of grad school). I might have to hire someone to help me with my typing.

WOW, and that option is the BETTER option.

Well, that is the update on THAT!

As for the shingles.....I am doing better. Not contagious, not running a fever, and feeling better....but the sight is still very painful and has left me with a horrible headache. SO thankful I caught it early and got on the anti-viral meds. It could've been much much worse. And the sight was very small....only about the size of a quarter. It's almost completely healed (as far as how it looks).

Welp, off to do homework. (Seems like 47 years old is TOO OLD to be doing homework). 3 more months in this semester. 10 weeks this summer. FINSHED! I can do this!!!!!

This too shall pass~

Wow.....what in the world?? Problems with my meds for fibromyalgia.....got that increased and going back to the Neurologist in 6 wks. Problems with my arm--tennis elbow---PT, etc.....going back to the Orthopedist Monday. Now I can't believe it...................Shingles. Lovely. It's just one place on my right temple but man it HURTS. And my head hurts from it and my right eye hurts and burns. Praying it will not spread. On meds for that now and stuck at home at least until Monday. :/

Oh well......................this too shall pass!!

School is going well. I love my professors for Cognitive Disabilities (Wed. night class) and Physical Disabilitites (Friday night class). Not so much my Internship professor (Tues. night class) but most of this semester's work is on-site supervised (and I love my manager who is my supervisor) so this should be a good semester overall. PROVIDED that I can be well enough to get in my 600 hours on-site for internship!! ARGH!

It'll be all good. I love my family, love my job, and for the most part love my schooling so it's all good. :) Looking on the bright side of staying home for 4 days and trying to figure out how to best spend my time (while at the same time de-stressing and resting which is what I have to do as doctor's orders..........) hmmm.....

First things first---cook my FAVORITE meal in the world---homemade spaghetti!!
Second--I have some GREAT library books--a series by Lauraine Snelling that I'm right in the middle of...YAY!
Third--get AHEAD on my school work for a change :)
Fourth--rest without interuption :)
Fifth....nope, 4 is enough. Gonna make this a good 4 days!!

Mumble Jumble of Thoughts

SO much is going on I don't even know where to start. (**Note: after reading this over again, I see that it is not very organized but I'm just typing typing typing and clearing my thoughts. I guess this is more for my own benefit that anyone else's, so that doesn't matter, right?**)

I'll start with some good news. I had an appt. with my neurologist yesterday and ended up meeting with a gentleman who has been involved with fibromyalgia research that indicates FM is related to neurological disorders. I'm on a new med that helps with the pain issues (related to neurotransmitters in the brain that send wrong pain signals) as well as a serotonin reuptake inhibitor med (or whatever that is called). I will have to wean off my Celexa and the new drug (Savella) will be similar to taking a Celexa plus Lyrica. SO, instead of adding Lyrica, I'm trying this med instead. PRAYING this will help reduce or maybe even illiminate the constant flare-ups I've had recently.

More good news is that I have completed the semester. THANK GOD. Some not so great news came from my practicum professor...........................LONG story. I have struggled with this professor's style all semester and an email I got today was the final straw. Supposed to have this guy for my internship in the Spring and I do NOT want to do that so I have some tough decisions to make. But first I plan to wait for grades and cool down a bit. It'll be ok, I am sure, but I do not need any additional stress in my life. I am hoping and praying that this all works itself out.

Also an issue with my internship is whether my manager in my Wilson office can be my site supervisor or not. Again, LONG story but another source of stress for me. Also praying this will work out. The alternative is working with someone out of the Rocky Mount office. I think she would be ok to work with but I just don't know.....feeling uneasy about the whole internship.

My other classes for the spring and summer look great....I LOVE the 2 professors I have for all the remainder of my classes, so that is truely a positive. The other positive is that, after August, I will be FINISHED!! I HAVE to make the internship thing work out....I can not bear the thought of extending my completion time. Please pray about this for me..............

On another topic---I am SO into the holidays this year! I will be so glad when grades are posted for the fall and books are ordered for the Spring so I can just not even open my school email and blackboard for a few weeks.

I don't know why but for some reason the Christmas season seems so much more precious to me this year. And for all the right reasons. I haven't bought many gifts and honestly don't plan to. I will do the stocking stuffers and a few small gifts for a few special folks but nothing elaborate. I just feel so relaxed about it this year. I have sat and enjoyed my tree and a Christmas movie or Christmas music every day since we put the tree up before Thanksgiving. I'm loving all the lights, and the music (which I normally don't allow until after Thanksgiving because Mark goes a little too far for my taste, normally), and the whole atmosphere surrounding Christmas.

Last night I enjoyed a Christmas banquet with the Wilson chapter of the National Federation for the Blind. If you know me well you know the word "enjoy" would not normal be attached with that sentence. I tend to enjoy staying home or being with my small group of family and friends. Going to banquets or participating with an "organization" is not my style. But I REALLY enjoyed it!! I was with Binnie, and Trish (who is blind, is the president of the Wilson group, and plays violin at our church each year at Christmastime) and Trish's family members (and Mark, of course). It was really nice and FUN! I look forward to the day that I can be a volunteer for groups such as this.

One thing that was extra fun about that to me was that it was so interested observing Blind culture and just seeing the comraderie of this group. I am constantly immersed in Deaf culture and I enjoy that too, but this was a different experience for me and was fascinating.

I love that I get to work everyday with indidviduals with disabilities. Though I must say it is their abilities that make the job so amazing. It is really inspiring to help a person realize their potential and help them set and reach goals. I am truely blessed.

Another thing on my mind is my family.....my children and grandchildren. If you follow their blogs or if you know them (or know ME well) you know some of the things in their lives. I am so proud of my boys and their wives. I can't even begin to express how thankful I am for Lindsey and Teri. I wish I could "be there" for them more. I wish I could babysit Ariel on some of the days Teri works. I wish I could visit with each grandchild individually weekly. I wish I was close enough that if they wanted to go out for a cup of coffee, I could drop everything and just go. I wish I could put into words how much I love them all and how proud I am to be Chris' and Jason's mom.

Watching "Elf"...lol...spaghetti with syrup for breakfast. Gotta love it.

FINALLY over my cold. Woke up this morning feeling rested and well :) Now Mark is fighting it.

Well, that is way more than enough.

Just for today....

This has been a lovely day. It has rained all day and has been very windy but such a lovely day! It is Veteran's day and I didn't have to work. Mark decided to take the day off with me. We slept late.....I woke up early and read for a while and went back to sleep. That "after I wake up and read" sleep is always the BEST!

After we got up and got showers we went out for coffee and went to Best Buy. We are loooking at getting a small TV for our exercise room. It will also double as a TV for the play room (which is also our guest room). Mark is touching up the paint in those 2 rooms and painting the door that separates the rooms. I want to clean off the shelves and re-organize in there. But one thing at a time!!

I have been really trying to just live in the moment....just enjoy the time to do nothing. I have been feeling really overwhelmed with work and school (as a combination) and really feel like I have been just "spinning wheels". That is hard for me because I am normally very much on top of things....especially at work. I feel like I am working myself to death and accomplishing nothing. I know in my logical mind that this isn't true, but emotionally I am struggling!

I'm getting down to "crunch time" with this semester. It has been a slack and disorganized semester, but the work still has to be done, and I have not been on top of it as I should be. Three more weeks before semester break. I really need to buckle down. I will get it done (I always do) but in the meantime....argh!!

But today...just for today at least....I will relax and will enjoy a moment of freedom. I will live in the moment. I will relax. I will enjoy the rain and the peaceful feeling it brings. Just for today I will just.....be.

3 more weeks

Gearing up for another class tonight...Practicum. I will be presenting my 3rd of 3 cases that I have to do a formal presentation on. I am so tired. Only 3 more weeks of class for this semester and then BREAK. YAY...can't wait!

Not so good

I'm not very good at this blogging thing! I read other blogs pretty often but don't post so much.

Right now i'm laying in bed with a heating pad on my back. Woke up barely able to move this morning. I think it's just another flare-up but I don't know. I get really sick of feeling bad. I push so hard but sometimes I just want to give up.

This has been a pretty busy--but not so productive week for me. Worked Mon-Tues, class Tues. night, traveled to Greensboro Wed. morning for a 3 day training, got home Fri. evening, worked the ENCSD football game from 10-4 Saturday, and came home exhausted. Went to bed last night with a back ache and woke up this morning.....well.....yeah.

I am really frustrated right now because it feels like I am SO busy ALL the time yet not really being very productive at ANYthing.

Just typed a whole parragraph and erased it all. I hate being negative. It's hard when you hurt. I'm tired of hurting! That's all for now.

Out of the office

This afternoon I am working from "out of the office". We (VR) as partners with the Employment Security Commission (ESC) are required to cover a slot at the ESC office every Monday from 1-5. We take turns filling the slot and today is my turn.....It is a real joke doing this. We basically taking turns sitting in a chair doing NOTHING for 4 hours per week. ESC is a "partner" with VR and we supposedly get referrals through them, but .... well, nuf said.

SO, here I sit at ESC...........I brought my laptop and printer and I have been doing some work on my VR files but I'm taking a short break from that. Getting ready to work on some school work. Can't complain about some time away from the office to get some uninterupted time. No phone calls....no walk ins.....no appointments. Nice. But I would really be bored if I had a do nothing type job. I like to be busy while I'm at work!

I am working hard on not wishing my life away. My current motto is "Focus on the moment". I realized that I spend way too much time looking forward to getting through something instead of just enjoying the moment. Working on that!!!

SO....I am not going to enjoy a few moments of uninterupted study time!! :) Happy Monday!!!